In jail I was trying to lay low. I didn’t want to make any friends. Once those guys get to know me I end up playing doctor, therapist, attorney, and general problem solver all day and night.
Of course I charge vegetables for my services.
But as I said, I was trying to lay low. I didn’t want the drain. I was sleeping, reading, writing, working out, and thinking about getting home to my scared pregnant girlfriend.
But this guy was limping so badly. It pained me to see him suffer when I could fix it so easily.
He was the most popular white guy in the dorm, second most popular overall (the dorm was 80% black). He was always working out with a gang of friends following. And always in tons of pain, limping badly, squeamishly hobbling often.
Finally, I couldn’t help it, “Want me to fix your knee?”
“Nah brother, it’s a torn ACL. Doc says I gotta get surgery, nothing you can do. I’m actually getting it fixed 2 weeks from now, a few days after I get out”
Later, when the pain was unbearable, he asked me, “What do you think you can do? You a doctor or something?”
“Say man, don’t be fucking around, can you help my knee or not?” he said sternly. He was flexing. But he was desperate.
“No, I can’t.”
After his friends ganged up and starting giving me the third degree as to why I said I could and now said I couldn’t I said, “I can’t because he said I can’t. Now look, dude, you want me to fix it, I’ll fix it right now, real quick. Then I can get back to this shitty Patterson novel, ok?”
“Whicha gonna do bro?”
I hopped down off my bunk, had him lay down, took his left foot, and put his arch into place. It was out and flat, causing his knee to buckle, straining his injured ACL. It hurts to have your arch put back in. But he did his best not to let anyone know, until someone asked, “That hurt?”
“FUCK YEAH IT HURTS!!!”
The audience laughed, and then they all questioned my methods. I told them I would tell them all in a bit, had him stand up, and told him to squat. He told me he can’t. I told him to just try, just once, carefully. He did. Slowly, with great trepidation, to his amazement, he went all the way down. His knee popped once and his back popped 4 times.
“God dam brother!” he said ecstatically. Everyone was blown away. I noticed his hips didn’t fall completely in place yet, and did a minor adjustment and then told him what he needed to do to keep his knee pain free for the rest of his life without a doctor. He asked me why no body knee about this. I told him there was no money in what I did for him, but he owes me hie veggies every other day from now on.
Before I knew it, once again, I was the dorm doctor, therapist, attorney, and general problem solver all day and night.
S0 then I got in a physical fight with a guard and ended up in the hole for some piece and quiet.